Today I had a routine blood test. The test was done to measure the levels of epilum in my system as I suffer from epilepsy but this wouldn’t be possible as I had a serious, paralysing fear of syringes. You’ll never know what kind of achievement this is for me; previously, if anyone had even come near me with a syringe, I would start freaking out as an intense fear would take hold and I would even hyperventilate. I’m not completely over it as I still need someone to hold my hand (if that seems a bit girly and very unmanly, what can I say… sorry?), as my support… if you like, while the nurse takes the sample.
Now the title of this post is a bit misleading and implies that I’m not afraid anymore, well that’s not true. I do still have fear in my life but I’ve learned not to let it control me. For example, I moved into my apartment three years ago and I was afraid to go asleep because of the silence so for nearly a year, I played music on my iPhone at a real low level just to calm and I had also some scary imaginings of Pyramid Head breaking down the bedroom door and with a hefty swing of his Great Knife, he would split me in half like a melon. Silly really, but there you are.
Writing this has sort of helped in some ways. Maybe I just needed to get it out there and I guess… blogging about it was the best way to do it!