Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review


The movie begins with Splinter telling the Turtles how dangerous it would be for them on the surface and how they will eventually become the defenders of New York City. But the movie really begins with April O’Neil pissed off with her latest assignment and how she never achieve the status that the big name reporters have. So she starts investigating the activities of the criminal organization known as the Foot Clan and while riding back to her apartment, she happens across a Foot Clan robbery at a shipyard where she witnesses a vigilante attack that foils the attempted robbery. Once the area is clear, she investigates and finds a strange symbol painted on a shipping container and takes a photo.

Next day at Channel 6 HQ, she tells her boss that she was a witness to the attempted robbery and the vigilante attack and shows her the photo of symbol and she is instantly ignored. But April is unwilling to give up the story so while in the van with  Vernon Fenwick, they see people running from a subway station and April runs in to see what’s going on and is soon captured and taken hostage by the Foot Clan. The mysterious vigilantes quickly come to the rescue and disappear up a dust shoot so she runs up the fire escape of a nearby fire escape where she sees them celebrate their victory and takes a photo. However, the flash gives her away and she confronted by them. She sees they’re not human and eventually faints. She wakes up and finds them standing over her asking if she was okay. The turtles argue amongst themselves and give April back her stating that the picture has been deleted from the memory and threaten her that if she says anything about their existence, they will find her (very Liam Neeson!) but that doesn’t stop her taking another photo as they leave.

As she heard that one is called “Raphael”, she goes back to her apartment and finds a box with a scientific journal in it detailing Project Renaissance where she named she four turtles after renaissance artists…

You know what, I can’t even finish this review as I wasn’t even paying attention and spent the majority using my phone or mentally playing Angry Birds. Although I did smile at some of wisecracks that Mikey delivered, I found this movie to be stupid and boring. It also relied too heavily on gratuitous slo-mo and things exploding and some things in it just didn’t make sense like Splinter becoming a ninja master after reading a book on ninjitsu he found in the sewer and the line “We’ll drain every last drop of blood from them, even if it kills them”, if you drain blood from any living thing, OF COURSE IT WILL KILL THEM! Dumbass!

I have no favourite scene so here’s an honest trailer

and my favourite scene from Taken

My score: 3 / 10

Final thought: DAMN YOU, MICHAEL BAY!!!

Kathy Rain: A Detective Is Born Review


Set in the 90’s and has that artistic style of a genuine 90’s era point ‘n’ click adventure game, players take on the role of Kathy Rain. Kathy, while attending college studying journalism, learns of her grandfather’s death and returns to Conwell Springs to attend the funeral. Afterwards, she decides that the mysterious circumstances leading up to his death warrant a closer look so she decides to start investigating.

She soon gets her dormmate and best friend, Eileen Summers, involved when she discovers a link to a girl named Lily Myers who committed suicide, a local church called ‘The Order of The Holy Trinity’ and a mysterious entity that is known as ‘The Crimson One’

Along the way, Kathy must face her own personal demons and learn to overcome them.

My thoughts

Being a fan of point ‘n’ click adventure games, I was looking for one that would really satisfy me; I really those like that feature police detectives or private detectives or FBI agents on the hunt for serial killers but after looking at artistic style and playing the demo, I was hooked and had to get the full version.

The story-telling was excellent and the puzzles weren’t too hard, although I had to use a walkthrough to clear some of them. But I have to say it had the feel of a Silent Hill game toward the end. Overall a very good game and worth the money!

My Score: 9 / 10

The X Files Season 10 Review- Episode 1 ‘My Struggle’


After 14 years, Mulder and Scully are back to investigate the unexplained and untangle the web of governmental corruption and deceit.

The episode opens with Mulder recounting his life with the FBI, how he investigated paranormal science cases through the X Files unit, the assignment of Scully by his superiors to debunk it and his unwavering belief that his sister, Samantha, was abducted by aliens when he was 12 years old. The FBI shutdown the X Files in 2002 ending their investigations but Mulder had always believed that the truth was still out there.

Now we rewind back to Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 where we see a UFO make a crash landing and a medical doctor is being driven to the site by bus accompanied by a man in black. Back to the present day and just as Scully is about to go into surgery, she is told by a nurse that she has an urgent phone call from A.D. Walter Skinner. She takes the call and then calls Mulder afterwards telling him that Tad O’Malley, the host of a web show called “Truth Squad”, wants to meet with them.

The pair reunite and meet O’Malley where he escorts them into his car because of his fear of low flying aircraft using “dirtboxes” to record conversations.. As they are driven through the streets, O’Malley reveals his plan to unveil the truth on the biggest conspiracy ever known but he needs their expertise in order to go “all in”. Mulder is intrigued, yet skeptical, as he believes that he could be just using them to further his career so he brings them to see a woman named Sveta.

Sveta tells them she has been abducted many times and shows the marks left behind when her babies were removed from her womb, she also tells them that she has alien DNA where Scully asks if that been verified by a doctor. Sveta answers no and Mulder wrangles Scully into performing that test. Later in the hospital as Scully is performing the test on Sveta, she reveals that Mulder and Scully were a couple, that they have a child together  and Mulder has been suffering from depression that ended their relationship. Scully demands that she stop.

Meanwhile, Mulder is taken by O’Malley to a secret location and shown an ARV (Alien Replica Vehicle) and is in awe over its capabilities. Afterwards, O’Malley walks in on Scully taking a sample of her own blood and sees the kind of work she is involved with in the hospital, she assists the surgeons to operate on children born without ears. O’Malley talks about how “alien” it looks where Scully says that is purely coincidental and they talk about her work on the X Files and her relationship with Mulder. O’Malley then says he wanted to check if she wasn’t upset by what Mulder made her do and that he just wanted to see her.

Mulder visits Sveta and asks why she was hesitant to speak about her abductions and she eventually reveals that it wasn’t aliens behind the abductions but men. While riding in O’Malley’s car, Scully receives a call from Mulder and he tells her that everything in the X Files is a lie.

Mulder then goes to the FBI and Skinner leads him into his old basement office and finds that the filing cabinets are gone and they have a rather heated confrontation about it. Before she heads back into surgery, a nurse give Scully her test results and once she reads them, she asks the nurse to have them re-tested. Mulder then meets with the doctor who was on-site at the UFO crash in Roswell and tells him of the things he has learned.

Later, Mulder and Scully have a heated argument on Mulder’s front porch where she sees Sveta and she leaves but O’Malley arrives and asks her to stay. In Mulder’s living room they reveal the conspiracy, that the government’s main objective to take over the US and then the world and that aliens were actually concerned about mankind and the government have been hoarding the alien technology. Scully is disgusted by this and says that Sveta has no alien DNA.

The next day, Scully watches “Truth Squad” where she sees Sveta deny everything O’Malley has said and he isa liar who made her make up stories about alien abductions. A nurse then gives the results of her re-tests. Mulder, also watching the show, goes to Sveta’s house and finds it empty. The ARV is soon destroyed by a commando team. Scully then looks up the show only to get a message saying that the site has been temporarily been removed. She meets Mulder in hospital car park and reveals to him that Sveta does have alien DNA but she has it too and she is willing to re-join him to stop the conspirators. Sveta is then killed in an explosion as she is driving.

The episode then ends on Cancerman saying, “We have a small problem… they’ve re-opened the X Files.”

My thoughts

I was very excited to hear that The X Files were coming back to TV and that the original stars were back. Gillian and David still have the spark and perfectly compliment each but in all honesty, I didn’t think this episode was the spectacular return to form I hoped and found the plot a little confusing I mean, I had to watch it two or three times in order to get a full understanding of it. I guess that’s just an ageing brain for you.

Nevertheless, I was entertained by this.

Here’s my favourite scene from the episode.


My score 6 / 10

Watch out for my review of Episode 2 – Founder’s Mutation, coming soon!

Oddworld: New ‘n’ Tasty by Oddworld Inhabitants/Just Add Water (PS4)

Now that I’ve finished this game (and no, it didn’t take me this long to do it!), I think it’s time for a review. New ’N’ Tasty is a remake of 1997’s PlayStation hit Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee and everyone knows the story but just in case you don’t, let me run over the basics for you. During his night run as floor waxer for RuptureFarms, Abe overhears a plot by his Glukkon masters to turn him and his enslaved Mudokon brothers into RuptureFarms’ latest tasty treats called “Mudokon Pops”. It is at this point, Abe decides he must make a desperate bid for freedom and rescue his brothers along the way. This leads to an adventure of epic proportions where he discovers the rich heritage of his people and gains the means necessary to destroy RuptureFarms.
New ’N’ Tasty is not just a remake or reimagining or a HD re-release of the original but rather a total and complete overhaul. The game stays true to the original while adding some new sections into it. Unlike the original, there are three difficulty settings: Easy, Normal and Hard. Easy and Normal give you a health system while Hard does not, one hit and you’re dead. There are checkpoints in the stages which is strange they were added as you have the option to Quiksave, a la Abe’s Exoddus, I suppose the checkpoints are for those who want to have a more challenging experience. There are now 299 Mudokons to save so playing saviour will be that bit more challenging… but you can be a heartless bastard and leave them all to die, it’s your choice (let me say that I hate people like you). Overall, I like this game and I’d definitely recommend it for fans of the original and newcomers.
Having said that though I have some criticisms. The controller setup is kinda messed up, you use the left stick for movement, pushing it slightly will make Abe walk while pushing it fully will make him run this, for me, led to many fatal mistakes such as running into mines, falling down pits and being hit repeatedly by the swinging boulders in the Paramonian Temple, these obstacles require the precision that a D-pad offers that the left stick does not. I also felt that the checking health could be done by pressing L2 rather than Triangle and Triangle could could’ve been assigned something else. Basically, I wish the option to use original’s control method was there too.
I also had issues with the camera. While it was great to have it scrolling instead of it flipping from scene to scene, it seemed to zoom out at crucial points making me mistime jumps and running into mines,
One thing I was looking forward to do again was possessing Sligs and making them shoot others, making them run into mines and my personal favourite, making them run into pits. Abe’s farts sound better too, now he has squelchers and squeakers. The Alf’s Escape DLC brought a whole new level of challenge to the game as you lead Alf back to safety, the obstacles you will face are extremely difficult (gamers who are quick to anger must avoid this at all costs!) and if he dies, you start off the section again. Still though, he does have that stylish Fez. A patch added old school controls like holding L2 to run and pressing X to hop, I like the whole button to hop thing but it seems to me that holding a button to run thing while using an analog stick is a bit… silly like pushing a boulder up a mountain only to have it roll back down again once reaching the top.

My final verdict:

A truly excellent game that was marred by a few teething problems on my end.

My score: 8 / 10

The X Files: Conspiracy feat. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 

Seeing as The X Files are coming back to TV for six episodes in 2016, I browsed the iBooks store and came across this in my search…    If if you haven’t read it, here’s the story. After Leo was brainwashed by the Foot Clan, the Turtles have retreated to an old farmhouse in Northampton with their friends April and Casey to allow him time to recuperate from his ordeal and The Lone Gunmen (Byers, Langly and Frohike) have received an email and a collection of articles from the future detailing a lethal viral outbreak. Following corroboration from Mulder and Scully, they begin their investigation of the various urban legends contained within them including the Ninja Turtles.

The comic starts off with a couple walking through the forest at night looking for vampires when they find something more shocking and take a photo of it. The following morning, Leo is out practicing his skills when Don interrupts him and says while browsing a paranormal site on the Internet and they see a photo of the Manphibian of Northampton. Don tells him that this kind of exposure could lead to an attack.

The Lone Gunmen are searching for the Ninja Turtles in the sewers but Langly is browsing the same paranormal site (question: how did he get a connection in the sewer system?) and sees the photo. They are relieved that it was taken in Northampton because now, they don’t to go through the dirty and filthy New York sewer system. Hours later arrive in Northampton and it turns out that there have been several exsangiunations in the area and they find out that that victims all ordered from Golden Pizza before they died (does this seem familiar, it should. This the plot from the episode “Bad Blood”).

Later, April and Casey go in to the pizza store in the hope of a “normal” night out but unknown to them, the Turtles are watching them as Leo is scared something bad could happen and The Gunmen are staking out the place. Just then, a chair comes crashing through the window and the Turtles leap into action and soon, a huge ensues between the Turtles and a horde of vampires. Langly calls Mulder for help and he says they will back off if anything like seeds were thrown on the floor as they will be compelled to pick them up. So they find chilli flakes and throw them on the floor. The vampires stop to pick them up but the leader tells them to leave the flakes, get Ronnie (the one who started the trouble) and leave. After the battle, the Turtles are set to leave when The Gunmen call them back and ask for a blood sample. Naturally, they assume The Gunmen are vampires too but they show the Turtles the articles from the future about the lethal viral outbreak. The Turtles are not convinced and leave anyway.

Leaving Northampton, The Gunmen decide the only way to get the blood sample is to trap one of them but Leo appears in front of their demanding proof. So they bring him into the van and explain to him how they got involved and show him news reports of the outbreak already starting and tell him that they are working with an FBI Agent to reverse-engineer a cure. He agrees to help but not before leaving them with a threat of unfriendly visit from him and his brothers if they are not truthful.

I didn’t know what to make of this as whole idea of a crossover was ridiculous but I was intrigued and it only cost me €1.49. Fans of both franchises may enjoy this a lot more than I did and apparently, there are two more crossover issues in this series, with Ghostbusters and Transformers (please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). I also gather that there’s going to be a Ninja Turtles/Batman crossover soon but not for me thanks. My verdict: a waste of my time.